My wife had an affair
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As men are more likely to be unfaithful in the first place, this suggests that men are less able to forgive an affair and more likely to see it as the end of their marriage. UK statistics show that almost a third of divorces cite infidelity as the cause of the breakdown of the relationship.
Traditionally, men are viewed as the most unfaithful sex. But there is evidence that female affairs are on the increase. According to the Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyle survey, while Sheila Williams understands this only too well. The year-old advertising executive cheated on her year-old accountant husband Charles when she returned to work after their third child started school.
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Married life, she says, was about juggling the different demands of family members. Weekends were spent ferrying children to activities. But at work, Sheila was required to travel for 12 weeks every year. I felt carefree again. Soon, however, she wasn't spending all her nights abroad alone. I always saw it as very separate, something from a different world. Eventually her lover changed jobs, the affair fizzled out and her husband was none the wiser. But then Sheila met James at a New York conference.
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- Private lives: I can't stop thinking about my wife's affair | Life and style | The Guardian;
- When Snow White Cheats | Psychology Today.
I wanted him, but I also wanted Charles, the girls and family life. In the end, the decision was taken out of her hands. One night at 4am, the phone rang in her hotel room. Her lover leaned over and picked it up. It was Charles calling to tell Sheila that her father had suffered a stroke and was close to death. Compouding her feelings of guilt, Sheila's husband said nothing about the man who had answered the phone - at least not until a month after her father's funeral. I confessed to both affairs, as I knew if we were going to find a way through, I couldn't have any more secrets.
He spent the first few days either shouting at me or crying. And yet Charles was determined not to split up his family. They went for marriage counselling. The first decision taken was that Sheila, who split up with James, would no longer go on business trips. It was an incredibly difficult decision because I loved my work.
But I loved my family more. Today, having cheated on her husband, Ruth lives alone and can only look back on her mistakes. She married Brian, 54, straight out of college. But before she had time to question how happy they were, she was focusing her energies on dealing with the stresses that come with raising four children.
Although her husband insisted on a divorce, he agreed to go to mediation with Ruth so that they could agree joint custody of their children. If we'd gone for help at the point I turned to Nick, I think we'd have been all right, but it was too late. Some names have been changed.
I really appreciate the love spell you cast for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work. Any help is much appreciated. I know that there aren't many pains in this world that can compare to the feeling when your wife's infidelity crops into your mind. They met at a motel 2x week for sex. Topics Life and style Private lives. Remains of boy found buried on 'extremist Muslims' New We're seeing marriage counseling at the moment which we both are willing to do.
The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. Wednesday, Aug 8th 5-Day Forecast. Why men can never forgive a wife's affair Share this article Share. Maintaining a happy relationship following an affair can be difficult. According to a recent survey, one in ten Brits would cheat on their partner if they thought they could get away with it.
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I felt very alone in this relationship. Initially I was shocked, hurt and very angry. I felt a failure as a husband and a man.
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I adopted the view that she had been taken advantage of by her colleague. I took her back, nobody ever knew, though my mother was suspicious something was wrong. I thought over time we could recover as a couple. Intimacy was always an issue as we both come from strict Catholic backgrounds and had very little intimacy before we got married.
When we were first married I thought things would improve, but sex was functional. After the affair, I thought with time that we might reignite intimacy but we only ended up having rows. We went for counselling but that did not help. About four years ago I stopped trying and now make no overtures. We live like flatmates and share a bed but there are no hugs or kisses so we have a celibate marriage.
I was devastated when I discovered my wife had been seeing an old boyfriend and had sex with him. Now, though I believe our relationship. A marriage doesn't come to an end because of an affair, it comes to an end because of how the married couple deals with the affair, notes.
Things are mostly calm but from time to time, the issue of intimacy comes up and we have a big row but nothing is ever resolved. I accepted this but lately I have days where I am on the verge of tears. Is no intimacy a good enough reason to leave a marriage?
I fear for the future. I'm not a sex maniac but I crave to be touched, hugged and made to feel special.
We have never recovered as a couple from the affair. I am very strongly thinking of separating, as I am very unhappy. What do I tell the children? What will become of the house which I built with the help of my brothers and cousins on my parents' land? Am I to end my days in an apartment or just be thankful for all I have? I have suggested going to another counsellor but she refuses. I am very tempted to seek intimacy outside this marriage.
I fantasise about some of the ladies I meet in the town, especially a former girlfriend who is separated and is always chatty when we meet up. I often lie awake at night thinking how lonely it is. My feelings towards my wife have died or are, at best, suppressed. Am I being selfish and should I forget my own needs and put up? I have some questions concerning your wife's affair.
Why men can never forgive a wife's affair... even though they'd expect YOU to forgive them
Did it end naturally or because you found out? What caused her to have the affair in the first place? Why did you allocate the blame to the other man rather than to them both? It seems as if you are unable to see any faults at all in your wife, which is not healthy. If the affair finished because they were found out then possibly it still has not finished in your wife's head. Was all of this thoroughly covered in counselling, particularly the reasons why she had it and how she felt when it was over?
I ask about all of this because of the inability of both of you to move on in the marriage, which should be possible but is not happening. As a result you are 'stuck' as a couple and you are feeling miserable. None of the options you list is ideal but you will have to let your wife know that you are seriously thinking of either leaving the marriage or having an affair yourself. It will then be up to her to either give things another chance, ideally by going to a different counsellor, or end the marriage. You are getting progressively more down about things, and whereas it is possible for people to exist with little or no intimacy, they both have to feel that they can cope with this, and you clearly cannot.
Your children will have other friends whose parents have separated and while they would be very unhappy if you were to break up, in a few short years they will have left the family home and it will just be yourself and your wife who are left. You have to be sure that you would be happy with this.
If not, then things will have to change. All correspondence will be treated in confidence. Claire Cohen The path to true love just got a whole lot smoother.
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No, the key isn't appearing on Love Island, but to ask someone the 36 questions below - and answer them yourself. Doing this, psychologists have Time has passed, the raw sorrow has lessened and I can now speak about the happy times He was verbally and physically abused while living there -and it still continues, mostly verbally now. My partner has adult I forgave my wife's affair but seven years on, we're living separate lives Photo posed.