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So if you're thinking, " My boyfriend cheated on me, and I can't get over it, " know you're not alone. Know That You Deserve Better.
Maybe you had suspicions of his unfaithfulness, or perhaps you were completely blindsided by it. It could be that he confessed to you first, or maybe your friends saw him out one night.
No matter how it happened, you felt devastated. It was like a punch in the gut. More than likely, you got angry, or sad, or determined, or all of these emotions occurred at once. Any and all reactions are normal when you find out that your trust has been broken in the most intimate of ways. But what do you do next?
It's tempting to try to just "move on" after he begs for forgiveness, but that's easier said than done. Recovering from infidelity in a relationship takes a lot of hard work - and usually, needs the support of a professional counselor to walk both you and your partner through the ruins of your relationship and to help you rebuild it.
If you're struggling to get over an incident of cheating in your life, here are some things to think through that may help you effectively process the occurrence and move on.
And believe me when I say I understand how terrible it feels to recognize that sometimes trusting yourself means that your trust in another person has been broken. And it can be so tough, because when someone cheats on you, it creates a whole lot of fear. You may feel hurt, rejected, or sad at first. What has happened in the past does not dictate what will happen in the future. But as hard as it seems at first, try to not hold someone new accountable for your past hurt. This becomes a never-ending downward spiral of self-doubt.
If you have suffered through infidelity, you could greatly benefit from counseling. Whether you're trying to salvage your relationship, or you need to recover after your relationship ended, an unresolved incident of cheating can have serious consequences on the health of your relationships even if you leave your unfaithful partner. Their services are affordable and offered in a convenient online format. You deserve to be happy, and your happiness shouldn't have to suffer based on someone else's poor decisions.
Seek help and start to put your life back together.
The fact that your boyfriend cheated on you represents a loss of your life. Whether the relationship can be repaired or not, you have lost the relationship you once had. You may go through periods of intense sadness, anger, and guilt. You may be obsessed with understanding why this happened to you. You might bargain with yourself as you think of giving him another chance on certain conditions. It's common to go through all the stages of grief. This can be a very emotional time in your life.
However, you might feel numb and wonder what's wrong with you if you don't cry. Either way, it's important to identify your feelings and come to terms with them. If you're speaking to a therapist about these feelings, you have the opportunity to express them to someone who won't judge you. This counselor can guide you in rethinking your situation now that you have the new information that your boyfriend has cheated.
With new thought patterns in place, the feelings can become more manageable. After you've lost trust in your boyfriend, your grief can turn into depression. Perhaps you aren't taking care of yourself as you once did. Maybe you're spending a lot of time alone. Your identity might have been so wrapped up in the relationship that you no longer know who you are or what purpose there is in your life.
If you get stuck in thoughts that your life as you knew it is over, depression can eventually follow. Watch for these signs:. Anxiety can also rear its head, especially if you've been in the relationship for a long time. You may feel anxiety intensely if your housing situation has changed or you were dependent on their income to make ends meet.
You might feel anxiety for no other reason than that you're in a new and uncomfortable territory on a path you did not choose. A therapist can teach your techniques for dealing with the anxiety. Your boyfriend has dealt a blow to your sense of self-worth. You may wonder if you're loveable at all. If his actions made you feel like you're not attractive enough, smart enough, or not good enough, you can benefit from spending some time building your self-esteem. We were so in love and our relationship got pretty serious quickly — planning for the future and so happy with one another.
About 8 months into our relationship, rather than embracing how much we loved one another and how right it was, he got scared and cheated on me. Thank you so much for writing in and opening up to me! And thank you for reading all these years: Wow, what a tough situation to be in.
But cheating comes in all different forms as do relationships.
I think you should continue this break for some time so you can figure out if those feelings for him will pass or if you really want to try again. Not speaking to each other for a while can really help clear your head and reveal to you whether you want to be with him or not. I would rather make decisions based on my heart then choose not to do something based on the fear of getting hurt.
I hope that makes sense: Photography by Tait Campbell. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! Your email will not be published or shared, but you will receive an automatic email if your comment has a reply. This seems like such a painful experience. While I am in no position to add on to this, I truly hope her heart heals from this. Branding By Spruce Rd.